How to Thrive When Life Knocks You Down
One year ago yesterday, I was told I wasn’t good enough.
Those words sting, don’t they? Whether they come from an employer, a partner, a client, or even our own inner critic, they can cut deep, shake our confidence, and make us question the value we bring to the world. But here’s the truth I’ve learned in the year since: sometimes a storm isn’t there to destroy us. It’s there to strip away what no longer fits and to remind us we were built to rise again.
The moment that knocked me down became the catalyst for the most transformative year of my life. I didn’t just survive. I rebuilt, redefined, and rediscovered what makes me uniquely me. I call it my 5% difference: the piece of me that no one else can replicate. And once I claimed it? Everything shifted.
If you’re in the middle of your own storm right now, whether it’s a job loss, a business setback, a relationship ending, or any moment that’s made you question your worth, this post is for you. Because the year that followed my lowest moment taught me that breaking up with what no longer serves you isn’t an ending. It’s a rebirth.
What the Waves Carried Me Toward
Let me tell you what happened in these past twelve months. I started a company and built a new brand from scratch. I met incredible people doing incredible work and said “yes” to fractional opportunities that became deeply meaningful partnerships. I dusted off the book I’d been sitting on for a decade and finally started writing it. I launched a speaking career, including my international debut.
Today, I’m celebrating the start of my first coaching cohort for caregivers with demanding careers. These are leaders running businesses while also caring for spouses, children, and aging parents, all while showing up with remarkable resilience. And perhaps most humbling? People I once worked with have returned, inviting me to help them launch new brands and companies, reminding me that in their eyes, “I am the best at what I do.”
It hasn’t all been easy. The highs have been exhilarating. The lows have been gut wrenching. I’ve been stretched in ways I didn’t imagine and worked harder than ever. Yet I’ve never felt more fulfilled, more aligned, or more certain that I’m steering my own ship.
The Rebound Playbook: What I Learned About Rising Stronger
If you’re facing your tsunami moment right now, here’s what I’ve learned about not just surviving the waves but learning to ride them.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve, Then Set a Deadline
When something ends, whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a dream you held dear, you need to mourn it. I cried. I raged. I felt every uncomfortable emotion. But I didn’t set up permanent residence there.
What I did: I gave myself a specific mourning period. I marked it on my calendar. When that date arrived, I began the conscious work of moving forward. This doesn’t mean I didn’t have hard days after. It means I chose to start rebuilding.
What you can do: Give yourself a mourning period that feels right for the magnitude of your loss. Maybe it’s a weekend, a week, or a month. Mark it on your calendar. Honor it. Then begin.
2. Identify Your 5% Difference
In a world of noise and competition, what makes you irreplaceable? It’s not your job title or your résumé. It’s the unique combination of your experiences, perspective, values, and approach that no one else can replicate.
For me, discovering my 5% difference was everything. It became my North Star for every decision I made this year.
What you can do: Write down three experiences that shaped you, three skills you’ve honed, and three values you won’t compromise on. Where they intersect? That’s your 5% difference. That’s your superpower.
3. Say Yes Before You’re Ready
The opportunities that transformed my year weren’t the ones I felt perfectly qualified for. They were the ones that scared me a little, that required me to stretch beyond my comfort zone. My international speaking debut? I said yes before I felt ready. My coaching cohort? Same thing.
What you can do: Identify one opportunity in front of you right now that makes you think, “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” If the only thing holding you back is confidence (not ethics or values), say yes. You’ll figure it out as you go. I promise.
4. Finish What You Started (Even If It’s Been a Decade)
That book. That certification. That business idea. That creative project. We all have something we’ve been putting off, telling ourselves “someday.” Your storm moment is your permission slip to stop waiting.
I had been sitting on my book for ten years. Ten years of “I’ll write it when I have more time” or “I’ll write it when I’m more established.” This year, I stopped making excuses and started writing.
What you can do: Choose one unfinished project that still calls to you. Commit to working on it for just 15 minutes a day for the next 30 days. Small, consistent action compounds into remarkable results.
5. Build Your Badass BOD
Here’s what I know for sure: you can’t rebound alone. You need people who see your potential even when you can’t, who remind you of your worth when you forget, and who celebrate your wins when you’re too exhausted to notice them.
I call mine my Badass BOD (Board of Directors). These are the people who believed in me when I struggled to believe in myself. They checked in on the hard days. They celebrated the wins. They reminded me who I was when I forgot. And LOVE THEM!!!! They keep me going and keep me stretching for the next adventure.
What you can do: Identify three to five people who genuinely want to see you succeed. Reach out to them. Be specific about what you’re building and ask if they’d be willing to be part of your Badass BOD. Most people are honored to be asked and happy to help. Give them that gift.
6. Redefine What Success Looks Like
When you’re rebuilding, you can’t measure yourself against your old metrics. A year ago, I had a steady paycheck and a clear title. Today, I have neither. But I have freedom, fulfillment, and a business I built from nothing. That’s not a lateral move. It’s an entirely different game.
What you can do: Write down what success looks like for this chapter of your life. Not what it “should” look like or what it used to look like. What lights you up now? What would make you proud? Use these new metrics to measure your progress.
7. Document the Journey
On the hardest days, I forgot how far I’d come. I needed evidence of my progress to keep me going. So I started keeping track of wins, big and small.
What you can do: Start a simple practice of recording your wins. Maybe it’s a journal, a voice memo, or a photo album on your phone. When you’re tempted to give up, revisit this record. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far and that’s worth remembering.
8. Expect the Rollercoaster and Stop Apologizing for It
Rebuilding isn’t linear. I had days where I felt unstoppable and days where I questioned everything. Both were normal. Both were necessary. I had to stop expecting myself to have it all figured out.
What you can do: Give yourself permission to be a work in progress. When someone asks how you’re doing, practice saying, “I’m in the messy middle of something that’s going to be great.” Own the process. The uncertainty is part of the journey.
9. Return to Your People
The most validating moments of my year came when former colleagues and clients reached out, wanting to work together again. It reminded me that the relationships you build matter more than any single job or title.
What you can do: Reach out to three people from your past who you enjoyed working with. Don’t ask for anything. Just reconnect. Share what you’re building. You never know what might emerge from genuine relationship.
10. Trust the Timeline
Twelve months ago, I couldn’t have imagined where I’d be today. I had to trust that putting one foot in front of the other, even when I couldn’t see the destination, would eventually lead me somewhere meaningful. And it did.
What you can do: Commit to one year. Give yourself 365 days to rebuild, experiment, fail, learn, and grow before you judge the results. Mark the date. Then get to work.
The Truth About Waves
Life will throw storms. Some waves will knock you down, but others will carry you to shores you never imagined. The difference isn’t in the strength of the waves. It’s in whether you choose to drown in the struggle or learn to ride them.
This past year taught me that the moment someone tells you you’re not good enough is actually the moment you get to decide for yourself what “good enough” even means. It’s your chance to stop living by someone else’s definition of success and start building a life that’s authentically yours.
To anyone in the middle of their storm right now: hold on.
The rebuilding is hard.
The uncertainty is uncomfortable.
The vulnerability of starting over is terrifying.
But you may be closer than you think to the breakthrough that will change everything.
You don’t just rebound.
You rebound stronger.
And a year from now, you might look back at this moment, the one that felt like an ending, and realize it was actually the beginning of everything you were meant to become.
What’s your rebound story? What helped you rise after life knocked you down? Share in the comments. Your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.